Holiday Greetings! My small gift to you is tips to help you
engage in better self-care during the holidays, so you can enjoy.
Be compassionate with yourself, be realistic and discover that
you can avoid the many pitfalls that can make the holidays
stressful and difficult for you now, as a cancer patient and
survivor.
TIP 1- Let go of “PERFECT” and “SHOULDS”
Many of us believe that we should do certain things for our
families and friends during the holidays. We may set our
standards higher than is realistic when we’re giving our all to
getting through cancer treatment.
Letting go of perfect means that you do not put pressure on
yourself to do the holidays in a particular way. Don’t wear
yourself out looking for the perfect gift or hosting the perfect
party.
If you find that you must “host” a party or get together, be sure
to line up LOTS of help! Find people who will lend you a hand
with setting up, preparing and serving food, as well as cleaning
up after the festivities. Let go of your shoulds, and let people
be there for you. Most friends and family are are more than happy
to be able to help in a tangible way.
Many people are driven to do it all perfectly. Are you one of
those people? This is one time when “good enough” is plenty! By
being realistic and honest with yourself about your energy and
goals, you’ll have more of yourself to put into enjoying friends
and family. You won’t be completely exhausted and you won’t risk
aggravating your condition.
TIP 2- Learn to recognize your limits and learn to say
NO 
Sometimes, we choose to take on activities and responsibilities
that in the past (before cancer) we enjoyed and found easy. But
this time of year, it helps to be able to say NO to others and to
say NO to ourselves!
Really, it’s a very useful word when it comes to reducing holiday
stress. If we shy away from saying “NO” even when it’s a spot-on
response, we risk overestimating our limits and abilities. We
take on tasks that others could easily complete. This is a very
good time to let go of your inner “Superman” or “Superwoman”
persona. Try to remember that even when you decide to give
yourself a break, and not do certain things in a certain way, you
are still SUPER!
Again, it may be necessary to let go of our perceived visions of
the holidays and what we “should” do. No one will not suffer as a
result, and it is actually quite healthy and reasonable to take a
back seat and let go of some holiday traditions. Truthfully, you
and your loved ones will likely reap benefits from your new
stand: the oomph that would have gone into lots of work, is
reserved for participating in and enjoying the celebrations.
TIP 3- Learn to be gentle with yourself
It is easy to take on a critical tone with yourself when you
don’t do things the way you think you should do them. I invite
you to try to silence your internalized critic. Instead, try to
practice self-compassion and loving-kindness with yourself.
Self-forgiveness is a great ally. Appreciate yourself; accept who
you are and how you are in the world (how you relate to and
connect with people). I believe you’ll find taking this stand
will bring you far more peace and comfort than making yourself do
what you think you should do.
Remember that self-care and self-nurturing are essential during
stressful times. Make a list of things that replenish you. It
helps to make notes on what has worked in the past to reduce your
stress (e.g., meditation, mellow music, massage).
Learning and integrating these three tips into your holiday
routines will be an enormous, immeasurable gift that you can give
to yourself for the holidays!
What is your goal for the holidays?
In December 2011, I hope your primary goal is to take care of
your needs (physical, emotional and spiritual). I invite you to
show up and be present with the people you love and who love you
back! Your best memories are made by simply “being” rather than
“doing.” Appreciate and care for YOU during the holiday madness
and others will cherish sharing this time with you!
Holiday Blessings to All,
Bethany
For more ideas check out:
Stress-Free Holidays Season When You Have Cancer:
http://cancer.about.com/od/copingwithcancer/a/holidaystress.htm
Courtesy of www.1uponcancer.com
